The “sandwich generation” refers to adults who are raising children while also caring for aging parents.
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Longtime readers know that last year, my father passed away unexpectedly. Shortly after, my mom moved in with me. Around the same time, my mother-in-law needed more care, resulting in an unplanned move to a nearby assisted living facility. While I have one kid out of the house (living her best life while working in Berlin), I still have two kids in college. This means we have a full house and constant financial pressures.
I’m hardly alone. For millions of Americans, the family budget is pulled in two directions. You may still be paying for childcare, school or college while helping an elderly parent with housing, groceries, transportation, medical expenses or daily care.
This financial pressure is commonly associated with the “sandwich generation” – adults who are raising children while also caring for aging parents. But a new report shows that these responsibilities start earlier, take up more time and reshape family finances more dramatically than many caregivers expected.
According to Care.com 2026 Sandwich generation referencetoday’s sandwich carers took on both sets of responsibilities at age 34, on average. They have already spent an average of 6.4 years managing overlapping care. Eighty percent said the shift was sudden (like mine), while 86% said it was completely unprepared when it happened.
The report was based on a survey of 1,000 US adults who have children age 14 or younger and currently provide care for both their children and their senior family members. That means they haven’t looked at people in my shoes, who have older children and senior family members, but I can confirm that the concerns and costs aren’t much different.
The cost of care is changing financial futures
More than four in five respondents – 82% – said that the cost of care is causing their household to feel financially stressed. Eighty percent said that paying for both childcare and elder care has changed their expected financial future, while 77% said they feel financially held back by their caregiving responsibilities.
These findings reflect more than the costs of child care or elder care. Caring can also mean paying your parent’s utility bills, buying groceries, covering prescription costs, providing transportation, or making space in your home (including making it more accessible for older parents). Some expenses, such as the cost of medication or nursing care, are obvious. Others may simply be absorbed as part of the normal household budget and may not be monitored at all.
To keep up, you may find yourself cutting back on savings or redirecting money that had been earmarked for other goals. More than half of respondents – 52% – said that savings are de-prioritized when care demands increase. Seventy-one percent said their responsibilities made them feel guilty about spending money on themselves (my son and mom got new sneakers before the hole in my upper shamed me for a new pair).
This can create a long-term problem. Money that would otherwise go toward an emergency fund, retirement plan, or college account can be used to cover an immediate health care need. And the financial impact is not limited to household expenses.
Caring can also cost future income
More than half of caregivers surveyed—55%—said they had turned down a promotion, raise or new opportunity because of their dual caregiving responsibilities. Among millennials, that number rose to 61%.
I totally understand that. For years, I’ve driven kids to dance recitals, soccer practice, and doctor’s appointments. Now, I’ve added trips with my mom—who doesn’t drive—to the library and the bank, as well as lots of doctor appointments, lab work, and other errands.
There are also visits I never expected—like trips to the emergency room after a fall. Unfortunately, falls are extremely common among the elderly. More than 14 million Americans age 65 and older—about one in four—report a fall each year. In the US, this translates into about three million emergency room visits and one million hospitalizations annually. More than a third of those who fall sustain an injury that requires medical treatment or limits their activity for at least one day. That means a single drop can turn occasional help with groceries or transportation into medical bills, home changes, and ongoing care.
Fitting these responsibilities into a workday can be exhausting. So it’s no surprise that two-thirds of respondents said their career aspirations had been reduced by childcare and eldercare duties. The same percentage said they had hidden the full extent of these responsibilities from their employer. A staggering 55 percent had considered leaving the workplace altogether.
This lost income isn’t just a hit. Declining a raise doesn’t just reduce this year’s salary. It can also mean smaller future raises, reduced retirement contributions and lower Social Security benefits later.
Caregiving is the equivalent of a part-time job. Respondents reported spending an average of nearly 24 hours per week arranging, coordinating or providing care. For mothers, that number rose to nearly 27 hours. And it’s usually mothers who are on call—half of mothers said they are always the default person others turn to when care is needed, compared to 33% of fathers. i can relate. When my kids were younger and I traveled for work, the school was still the first to call me when one of them was sick or had some other problem—even when the school knew I was out of town.
Families miss out on planning opportunities
Caring doesn’t just change the way you spend your money. It can make it hard to find time to manage money at all. Forty percent of respondents said they lost or reduced the time they spent on financial planning during the past year because of their caregiving responsibilities.
You may be putting off reviewing insurance coverage, updating an estate plan, or meeting with a tax preparer. These tasks often slide to the bottom of the list. Unfortunately, that’s where annual tax planning tends to end up as well — and missing a planning opportunity can cost real money.
Possible tax evasion
An example? Tax credit for dependents. You probably already know that children can qualify you for certain tax breaks. In some cases, an elderly parent can too.
In particular, your parent does not necessarily have to live with you to qualify as your dependent. However, they generally must meet the IRS rules for a qualifying relative for purposes of the Other Dependent Credit – basically the equivalent of the child tax credit for non-qualifying dependents. To qualify, your parent cannot be the child of someone else who qualifies, they must meet the citizenship or residency requirements, their gross income must be below the annual limit, and you must provide more than half of their support.
For 2026, the gross income limit is $5,300.
Social Security can make the math complicated. Tax-free Social Security benefits generally don’t count against the gross income limit, but benefits your parent uses for food, housing, clothing or other living expenses do count when determining whether you provided more than half of their support.
This means that your parent can meet the income test but fail the support test if they pay a significant amount of their own expenses.
Support generally includes food, lodging, clothing, transportation, medical care, and similar needs. If your parent lives with you, the value of the accommodation is generally based on the reasonable rental value of the space and household services you provide, not just your mortgage payment.
Medicare benefits generally do not count as support. However, Medicare premiums and non-reimbursed medical expenses you pay for your parent may count as support you provided.
You’ll want to keep detailed records of housing, food, transportation, insurance premiums, medical bills, home care, and other living expenses. These records can help you determine if you paid more than half of your parent’s total support.
A $500 credit does not match the cost of care
Before you start spending that tax savings, remember that the maximum credit is only $500. This may seem small compared to how much you actually spend. This is especially true when you are providing housing, transportation and medical support while also losing income or curtailing your career.
And those dollars matter. The Care.com report found that 55% of respondents said the high cost of professional care support has a significant impact on their finances, while 52% cited a lack of affordable or accessible care options.
The $500 credit may not be the only tax benefit available. Depending on your circumstances and the expenses you pay, you may also qualify for certain medical expense deductions, household filing status, or other tax breaks. Take a look at your entire return instead of assuming the credit for other dependents is the only line item that matters.
It’s never too early to plan
The survey found that 84% of sandwich carers believed that understanding more about the full cost of care would have helped them when they first took on their responsibilities. An obvious lesson is that planning matters. So my advice is to start now—that means not only having a financial plan, but also thinking about the practical, time-based issues, like how you’ll manage the day-to-day life issues (who gets the groceries?) as well as medical appointments.
If you’re already supporting an elderly parent, start tracking the time and money involved as you go along. And most importantly, also keep records of your parent’s own income and how it is used. These numbers can help you answer your tax support question.
While most of us who care for parents and children have no regrets (I remind my mom she cared for me for years, so I owe her), you what care really costs. For many members of the sandwich generation, the answer is much bigger than they expected.
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