A Psychologist Explains ‘Alexithymia’—Difficulty Identifying Emotions

Many people come to therapy when they feel disconnected from their own emotions. They may say things like:

• “I can’t figure out what I’m feeling most of the time. It’s like everything is empty inside.”
• “Sometimes I feel like I’m just going through the motions of life without really experiencing any of it.”
• “I often feel overwhelmed by my emotions, but I can never pinpoint exactly what is wrong.”
• “I find it very difficult to relate to others. I struggle to understand my own feelings, let alone theirs.”

Feeling disconnected from your emotions can be deeply frustrating and can lead to a pervasive sense of disorientation and restlessness. This emotional disconnection can strain various pillars of one’s well-being, including mental, emotional, and social dimensions.

However, research offers hope by revealing that this experience is not unique. it is referred to as “alexithymia” and many individuals face its challenges. Through psychological findings, we are empowered with the knowledge of what alexithymia entails—as well as how to recognize it.

What is Alexithymia?

Alexithymia, a complex psychological phenomenon, is characterized by a distinct set of features that profoundly affect emotional experiences and expression. According research from The Canadian Journal of Psychiatryalexithymia includes four characteristics:

1. Difficulty identifying and describing one’s feelings
2. Difficulty differentiating between one’s emotions and the physical sensations associated with them
3. A limited capacity for imaginative thinking, often evident in a paucity of imagination
4. An externally oriented cognitive style, which prioritizes surface information over internal emotional processes

To explain this, imagine a scenario in which you have experienced stress. In response, you would likely recognize this feeling and therefore withdraw from the situation or confront your feelings head on. Likewise, feeling unhappiness might prompt you to think about its causes, and then you would likely consider making changes to prevent further unhappiness.

Conversely, a person with alexithymia may have difficulty recognizing these feelings altogether. Rather than recognizing anxiety as a signal to subside, they may feel overwhelmed by vague physical sensations without understanding their underlying cause. Similarly, feelings of unhappiness may persist without external prompts for introspection or action, as the individual lacks the awareness to connect their feelings with possible solutions.

What is it like to live with alexithymia?

At its core, alexithymia disrupts the typical interactions between a person’s emotions, cognition, and behavior, resulting in a disjointed understanding of their inner world. Research from Handbook of Clinical Neurology highlights how alexithymia can lead to frustrating difficulties in interpersonal relationships, decision-making, and one’s overall well-being.

This condition can create a number of challenges in everyday life. Individuals may have difficulty understanding and articulating their feelings, which can lead to difficulties forming meaningful relationships with others or even being able to contribute to social interactions. This emotional disconnection can also reduce their capacities for self-awareness and introspection, making it difficult to identify the root causes of their stress or deal effectively with it.

In addition, the inability to recognize and communicate feelings can lead to misunderstandings and strained relationships, which can escalate pre-existing feelings of isolation and loneliness. These individuals may also experience increased levels of anxiety and depression as they battle a pervasive sense of emotional detachment. This can be compounded by the frustration of not being able to connect with their own feelings, or those of others.

How to tell if you have alexithymia

For those with alexithymia, it can feel like they are stuck in a lost or lost situation. With significant difficulties in understanding their emotions, trying to deal with them can seem like an inexplicable obstacle. Given the extremely limited ways in which they can truly express their feelings, it can be a time-consuming and tedious process to identify the issue.

Because of this, researchers attempted to develop a psychometric instrument to determine alexithymia. To use the measure, respondents rate their level of agreement with the following 20 statements, ranging from “strongly disagree” to “strongly agree:”

1. I’m often confused about what emotion I’m feeling.
2. It’s hard for me to find the right words for my feelings.
3. I have physical sensations that even doctors don’t understand.
4. I cannot easily describe my feelings.
5. I prefer to describe problems rather than just analyze them.
6. When I’m upset, I don’t know if I’m sad, scared or angry.
7. I am often troubled by the sensations in my body.
8. I’d rather just let things happen than understand why they happened that way.
9. I have feelings that I can’t quite define.
10. Being in touch with feelings is not necessary for me.
11. I have a hard time describing how I feel about people.
12. People tell me to describe my feelings more.
13. I don’t know what’s going on inside me.
14. I often don’t know why I’m angry.
15. I prefer to talk to people about their daily activities rather than their feelings.
16. I prefer to watch “light” entertainment shows than psychological dramas.
17. I find it difficult to reveal my innermost feelings, even to close friends.
18. I struggle to feel close to others, especially in moments of silence.
19. I don’t find examining my feelings helpful in solving personal problems.
20. Looking for hidden meanings in movies or plays distracts from enjoying them.

If you find yourself struggling with alexithymia, it is important to know that you are not alone in this journey. Taking the first step to acknowledge your struggles can be incredibly scary, but it’s also the beginning of a path to healing and understanding. With the support of a therapist or counselor, you can begin to unravel the knots of confusion and isolation. With time, effort, and the right guidance, your life, relationships, and overall well-being can blossom in ways you may never have imagined.

Worried if you suffer from alexithymia? take it Alexithymia Scale to gain clarity.