The reality of pregnancy is much more complicated than most of us realize. Here are the unfiltered … [+]
Pregnancy is often romanticized in movies and the media, but the truth is that it is a deeply personal and complex experience for most people. For many, this journey isn’t just about navigating physical changes—it’s also a time filled with conflicting emotions, mental health challenges, and the weight of overwhelming societal expectations.
This emotional complexity can also be heightened, for example, when one has to deal with the experience alone, cope with previous miscarriages or struggle with uncertainty about becoming a parent. Managing the potential stress, depression, physical changes, and transition to motherhood—while navigating fears of childbirth and ensuring proper health care—can feel overwhelming, especially without adequate support or information.
In one study published this April at Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, The researchers interviewed 11 women about the psychological challenges they faced during pregnancy.
Here are three common challenges that participants mentioned.
1. A sense of feeling The “wrong” feelings
One of the most commonly reported experiences during pregnancy is feeling like you have the “wrong” feelings for her. Many participants felt an intense emotional conflict, torn between joy and anxiety, excitement and overwhelming sadness because of this major life transition.
“It was awful, it was stressful, I had panic attacks… it was like I was drowning,” describes one participant.
For some, the expectation of feeling nothing but happiness and feelings of disconnection during pregnancy exacerbated feelings of guilt or shame when negative feelings naturally arose. This can be a process of isolation due to fear of judgment or misunderstanding from others.
High levels of anxiety and exhaustion are common as the physical toll of pregnancy takes a toll on mental health, leading some to fear that things will only get worse after the birth.
“You just can’t see the end of it, you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, you feel like you’re going to bring this baby into the world and it’s going to be even harder.” says another participant.
It is important to understand that no emotion during pregnancy is “wrong”. These feelings are a natural part of such a life-changing transition, and it’s important for women to give themselves grace as well as receive acceptance and support from others during this time.
“I guess until I got pregnant myself, I would have bought it, but suddenly you realize no, you feel sick, you have heartburn, you’re in pain, you’re heavy, you can’t do anything. Not everything is pleasant,” explains another participant.
2. Tackling the stigma surrounding mental health needs
Social expectations surrounding pregnancy can take a heavy toll on one’s mental health. From the moment someone announces they are expecting, they are often bombarded with messages about what pregnancy should look and feel like. The prevailing narrative of pregnancy as an idyllic, happy time often leaves women feeling like they’ve failed when their experience doesn’t match up.
“I feel like everyone who was pregnant who talked to me lied to me (laughter). People now say things like, ‘oh, we never wanted to tell you what it was like, you don’t want to scare anyone,’ and you’re like—could you give me head up,” explains one participant.
Many women also feel the need to hide their struggles, fearing judgment from others. A 2019 study highlights how motherhood is expected to come naturally to women. They may feel stigmatized because they don’t embody the happy, glowing pregnancy image that is expected, because they need help, or because they don’t feel an immediate connection to their child. The resulting feelings of isolation can make it even harder for them to seek help when they need it most.
“There’s still this stigma probably associated with good mental health in general, but having mental health issues in pregnancy is something that isn’t talked about,” says another participant.
3. Struggling with a lack of support
Many women in the study also reported a lack of awareness and access to resources related to perinatal mental health. While postpartum depression has gained some visibility, mental health challenges during pregnancy itself are often overlooked.
“Nobody had heard of it before. Everyone has heard of postpartum depression. I was shocked to learn how common it was. I just feel like there is no information about it. You need help when you need help, not like months and months later when you had to endure it alone,” explains one participant, highlighting her lack of mental health support even when she knew something was wrong.
Participants describe frequently searching for answers, trying to understand why they feel distressed, and experiencing a lack of information and support. Several participants noted that medical professionals focused primarily on biological explanations for their distress, such as hormonal changes, but this often left women feeling powerless over their mental state.
It’s important to change the social narrative around pregnancy and create space for honest conversations about the less glamorous, often overwhelming experiences that many mothers-to-be have. By acknowledging the reality of these struggles, we can break down the stigma that silences those who need help and give them the support they truly deserve.
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