Anyone passionate about a particular interest or hobby has likely found an online community of seemingly like-minded individuals, and social media has made it easier than ever to make those connections. However, anyone who has found such a group can probably tell a story of infuriating experiences caused by the bad behavior of another user or users.
Those who deliberately write provocative and offensive posts specifically to provoke reactions are considered “trolls”.
Trolling has existed long before the age of social media – tracing its origins to the early days of the public Internet in Usenet newsgroups and multi-user dungeons. It’s also not likely to go away. The initial response may be to ignore or block these users, however, the problems can be so great that many of us are left to abandon the community we sought.
At least for a while.
Then, at some point, we are tempted to return to those groups. Maybe we wonder if the team continues without us or if our absence is noticed. But is this a bad thing?
“It depends on your motivation, your feeling and your conscience about this decision. It can be healthy if you are able to be open but discriminating. If this is possible, for example, you may be surprised to learn that the team has changed or that you can manage team dynamics in a healthier way,” explained Dr. Helen Marlo, dean of Faculty of Psychology at Notre Dame de Namur. “Alternatively, you may find that your current toxicity is still not worth your time or the cost to your mental health.”
He added that before returning, users should question their motivation for rejoining a toxic group, including whatever emotion is causing them to relapse.
“Think about how aware you are of its impact on you, both internally and externally, like how it makes you feel and its impact on your relationships,” Marlo said.
Toxic Environments
The question remains why are online forums, Facebook groups and other digital communities so toxic at times? What brings out rude behavior?
“In fairness to the online experience, this has also been a key question of the human experience as a whole, with many studies in psychology, criminology, sociology and more,” he said. Dr. Cliff Lampe, professor of information and associate dean for academic affairs at the University of Michigan’s School of Information.
“There are a few prevailing theories about why online groups are particularly prone to bad behavior,” Lambe noted. “One is that policing these spaces is difficult. You can ban accounts, but usually, it’s easy for a person to create a new account and come back.”
It may be because there are fewer clues to how other people receive comments online, people may say and do things than they normally would, and maybe even cause a backlash.
“Another theory is that different groups of people have different rules about how ‘aggressive’ they are, but online spaces collapse all those people into the same channels creating conflict,” Lambe continued. “Some have also argued that because there is little chance of real punishment for bad behavior online, people act out their worst impulses. All of this likely plays into online community conflict in one way or another.”
Don’t feed the trolls… Don’t blame them either
An old saying from the days of Usenet was “Don’t feed the trolls”, as in ignore them and they’ll go away. While this advice still rings true today, the fact is that much of the negativity doesn’t just happen because someone acts.
Social media conflict isn’t always created by small groups of “trolls” or other bad actors.
“Instead, most conflicts are started by people who would consider themselves ‘good’ in the situation because they hold people responsible for their bad/stupid ideas,” Lambe suggested. “Alice Marwick at UNC calls this ‘morally motivated online harassment.’ In my own research, we found that in a nationally representative sample, up to 60% of Internet users report having engaged in some type of behavior that would normally be classified as harassment.”
Something as simple as different opinions can quickly turn moles into mountains, especially as people believe they are right in their thinking and attempt to prove their case. Online communication can lack the civility that exists when we are face-to-face, and this creates further unnecessary drama.
“My sense is that people get stressed and frustrated in online channels where they’re more likely to experience people who believe or do things very differently,” Lambe said. “Since this seems wrong to them and neither the government nor the platforms seem likely to ‘punish’ this person, they take matters into their own hands and start conflict.”
Will It Get Better? It depends
When the problem becomes so large, users may feel that they can no longer be part of the group. At some point, there may be a desire to return – hoping that things have improved. However, this rarely happens.
“History tends to repeat itself especially when we don’t reflect on it. Reflection allows us to learn from history and act differently. While reflection is no guarantee, failure to reflect almost certainly leads to history repeating itself,” Marlo said. “Choosing to return to a group, but with a reflective attitude, expresses an openness to experience and can signal your faith and belief in people’s capacities for change, including your own!”
In addition, you should remember that if you have been in many conflicts online, then the problem may not be due to just one problem.
“You may still find you don’t want to be part of the team,” Marlo added. “However, you make that decision from a more thoughtful place, based on your current experience, which is healthier.”